Friday September 10th 1am

Friday September 10th 1am


This evening we went out with Hamada, and with his friend Mohamed. We went to a café, where we drank slush drinks and ate ice cream. Hamada’s cousins joined us, as did a few other friends. We spent the evening chatting with them and everyone was very happy to celebrate Eid, visit with friends and family, and greet all acquaintances. It was a very nice evening. After the café, we went to the electric company to purchase 200 kg of electricity and to the market. At the electric company, which is open 24/7, there was a huge line, moving quite slowly, of men waiting to purchase their electricity. Mohamed then explained that women do not wait in line in Sudan, anywhere, and that we simply walk to the front of the line to be served before the men. This is done out of respect. It felt very awkward at first, but we did as they explained and it went well. They also explained that women are always offered seats on the bus or transport before men, and that a man will move to accommodate a female entering the transport. They explained that women are very respected in Sudan, and that these are just ways of demonstrating such respect.
One of the most interesting topics of conversation tonight was about Sudanese weddings. Because we were sitting with men for most of the night, we received the male perspective, which was quite interesting. Sudanese weddings they explained, are very focused on catering to the woman, in terms of paying her family lots of money, 500 or 600 thousand Sudanese pounds on average, and spoiling the bride in the days leading up to the wedding. They explained that the woman is “locked” for approximately a week prior to the wedding, and attended to by women, and that this is a very enjoyed and luxurious time because the bride to be is pampered and prepared. They explained that she is made to be very beautiful, that her skin is softened and scented, that she receives henna, and so on. A common practice is to take very pleasantly scented woods and incenses and to burn them in a hole in the ground over which the woman squats so that her skin completely absorbs the scent. This scent is said to make the man crave sexual intimacy and is used by the women not only when preparing for the wedding, but whenever she chooses to indicate her desire for intimacy or attract her husband. Perhaps one of the most interesting, and perhaps unexpected, parts of the wedding preparations is the night before the wedding, when women perform scantily clad “dirty dancing.” The husband is the only male allowed to participate in this night, as the soon-to-be bride and other women dance for him. Wedding celebrations are huge and it is common to invite everyone. They are paid for entirely by the husband’s family. Because of the expense associated with marriage, many people must wait a long time to be married and many remain unmarried if unable to pay.